Wow, Christmas has come and gone, just like that. It was a wonderful day. Believe it or not the day was calm. The kids were gone most of the day visiting with others. Jimmy and I did absolutely nothing. We had company later in the day, then once the kids were home we had dinner together as a family. I love those times. You see my kids are grown but still live at home and I know those times are numbered, so I cherish each and everyone. We are a very close family and I am so thankful for that. God has blessed us with so much.
Christmas day I was pondering on different things in my life. The good and the not so good. I have decided to make changes and with that have decided to make a few New Year's resolutions. I don't normally make New Year resolutions, but hey nothing else seems to work so I am going to give it a try. I want to be refreshed and stop letting others control my life. WOW that's gonna be hard. So here is my list of things that I want to do or change.....................
1) I want to have a closer walk with God. I want to have more time for bible study. I want to learn that when I pray and ask for help that I let God have 100% control and stop keeping 10% thinking I can do something about the situation. You see I am really bad at that, because sometimes God doesn't work fast enough for me. HA! have you ever heard that before. Patience is not one of my better qualities. I know that all things happen on God's time not mine and that he always knows best. So when I pray I need to let God take care of it.
2) Eat healthier, no not diet. I hate the word diet, that never works for me. So I have decided to say that I am going to eat healthier. I had lost quite a bit of weight and exercised and felt so much better. However, i let a tragedy in my life take control of me and of course stress ate, which put my weight back on. That being one of the times that I didn't let God have full control and I did not do very well at handling it on my own.
3) Exercise, another one of my least favorite words. OK, there was a time during my weight loss that exercising was an everyday occurrence, but not any more. I loved it because not only was I doing something good for me, but it's a great way of releasing stress. So why did I quit? Again, I let a tragedy in my life take control. So back to it - debating on whether to join a gym or exercise at home. I am not very committed when it comes to exercising at home, but I hate paying $42 a month to exercise at a gym. I am going to exercise, just need to make a decision as to where.
4) Letting go.............oh so hard for me! You see the tragedy in my life involved friends. I was so hurt, felt used, angry, and so many other emotions. This situation actually controlled my life for the best part of three years. I became sick! and that has costs far more than medical bills. I became a person that even I didn't know. Getting out of bed was a task. Doing the little things was a task. Lucky for me, my family and a few close friends have been very supportive. Finally I feel that I am at the end of this wreck, now it is a matter of healing and refreshing me. So I MUST learn to let go and give 100% to God. Again, that is hard for me to do, but I am trying.
5) Forgive......every time I think that I have done this, something happens that makes me realize that I have not totally forgave. I want to forgive, I have tried to forgive, but apparently I have not forgiven 100%. This is also hard for me!!!! But this is something that I must do in order to have a good relationship with God. How can I expect God to forgive me when I can't forgive others. I know that I will never forget this tragedy because it had such an impact on me and my family, but I will forgive 100% as God would have me to do.
6) Slow down and take time to smell the Rose's. Life is going way too fast. At the end of each day I am always thinking where did the day go. I want to slow down, look around, see the many blessings that God has given me. Learn to appreciate them instead of taking them for granted. Just the other morning I saw a red bird outside my window.....it was beautiful and it put a smile on my face. Normally I would over look that blessing, but not any more. It's the little things that can make you happy, so I am going to pay more attention to the little things because they always make me feel better.
7) Look for the positive. Everyday of my life I can clearly see the negative things that have happen and the negative seems to always be the topic of conversation. I have decided not to dwell on the negative but to look for the positive things that happen to me everyday. I want the positive to be the topic of conversation. When I come home and am ask how was your day, I want to be able to tell the positive. I believe that dwelling on the negative will bring you down, make you a grumpy person.......I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to be positive from now on. Being positive hopefully will uplift my spirit, make me smile more, give me a better attitude, refresh me and will help with all the things that I have written above.
OH MY GOSH, it's a short list, but a BIG list. I believe these few changes can make such an impact on my life and I am ready for the change. My prayer is that 2009 will be a much better year for everyone. May we open our hearts and minds to God and allow him to work within each of us. If you are reading this, please pray for me. The things on my list may seem easy for you, but trust me they are difficult for me. I look forward to the challenge that lies ahead of me. With Gods help I can accomplish my goals.
Peace, Joy and Love to all!
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