Simply Donna

Beautiful Day...........

2011-03-17T20:13:00.000-07:00

It has been a beautiful day here. The sun shining and the warm weather was awesome. I now officially have Spring Fever. The March flowers are blooming, the birds are singing away and the Bradford pears are budding. I love the "refreshing" feeling of Spring. It just makes me feel better. It makes me feel "cheery."

On another note...........my heart is heavy for Japan. Wow they are going through so much. I can't even begin to imagine what this must be like. Yesterday on the news I heard a gentlemen from Japan say "they would take care of each other." That was such an amazing statement to me. And the people who are staying at the nuclear plant to work.........wow! they are doing this for their country, for their people, knowing that they are in extreme danger. Please pray along with me for Japan.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

It's been a while

2011-03-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time since I posted on my blog, but honestly live has been super busy. Since August 2010 I have faced many challenges, but am happy to report things are finally starting to slow down, Whew! I am grateful for that.

Saw the endocrinologist last week about my diabetes and got good news. Finally my A1C is within normal range. I went from 15.6 to 6.4 since August. He said I was doing a great job at controlling my diabetes. Still on insulin. Recheck in 3 months.

I had a F/U mammogram today and it looked good! Praise God! No CANCER! Yippeeeeeee! God is good! Another mammogram in September and if that is good we go back to yearly mammograms. I did see the radiation oncologists couple of weeks ago and he thought all was looking good. He will continue to follow me for awhile.

Seeing the eye doctor at the end of the month and having another diabetic eye exam. Finally my eyes have settled down. There for a while I was starting to wonder. My eyes were changing so much (pretty much every 2 weeks). It was very frustrating. It honestly made life a little tuff. During the past 6 weeks they have stayed the same, thank goodness.

I have so much to be thankful for and God has seen me through it all. I can not image trying to go through all of this and not have God. We had many conversations! My family and friends have been very supportive and loving. I am so thankful and so blessed. Praise God!

In the mist of all of this, our oldest son got married and our my younger son got engaged - getting married in October. Ironically he is getting married on what will be my 1 year anniversary from having a lumpectomy. He didn't realize that until I brought it to his attention. The way I see it we will have 2 huge things to celebrate on that day.

My God is an awesome God! (I love that song) God Bless!
Donna

2010-10-06T06:14:00.000-07:00

I had my surgery last Friday and am doing pretty well. I am starting to get cabin fever, so today the hubby is going to take me to the grocery store. Who knew that I would get so excited to go to the grocery store, I sure didn't.

I had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy. Surgery went very well, but I must tell you that I was not prepared for the sentinel node biopsy. I did not realized that they had to give you 4 injections around your nipple, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch! They do not give you any anesthetic for this. Hope I never never have to do that again. Honestly it was painful, but the pain was short lived, thank goodness.

GREAT NEWS......lymph node biopsy came back negative, WOOT! Thanking and Praising God for these results. From here I will need 33 radiation treatments and chemo consult to see if I should be taking a chemo pill (Tamoxifen or Arimidex) for five years......yes five years. But that is better than doing IV chemo treatment, which causes hair loss and sickness.

My road is still long, but I can and will do this with my head held high. I am very fortunate that the cancer was found very early. Praise God!

Until we meet again,
Donna

I'm ready

2010-09-28T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well Friday is fast approaching and I am sooooo ready to get this surgery done and begin the process of moving on. I realize that the process make take awhile, but just getting started will be a huge plus.

I honestly am not worried about the outcome. I think that everything is going to be ok. God is my rock and my strength. Speaking of rocks, at our church one Sunday (probably a year ago) our pastor passed out rocks to remind us that God is our ROCK. I still have that rock and I look at it most every day. Sometimes I pick it up and just hold it in my hand. It's a little reminder to me that God is there for me always. Is that not wonderful??

I have had a cold since Friday and today I finally am feeling much better, thank goodness. For awhile I was afraid I might not be able to have my surgery. But all is looking up.

Until next time; Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Update

2010-09-25T05:23:00.000-07:00

The wedding was beautiful and fun. We had a wonderful time. The weather was great. The lucky couple went to St. Lucia for their honeymoon. I'm jealous. They will be back late tonight.

I had my Radiation Oncology appointment. The hubby and youngest son went with me. It was enlightening and encouraging. The doctor was super and the staff was great. They made me feel positive and were very caring.

So I have decided to have lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy. I will need 33 radiation treatments. I was so against radiation due to the side effects, but the doc helped me to better understand the process. Hopefully I have made the best decision for me.

Surgery will be next Friday. I am ready to move on and get this behind me. I feel comfortable with all of it. It's kinda of funny, people will tell me that I am handling this very well. My response is that God is in control of the situation and has given me the peace to deal with this. They look so amazed. Don't get me wrong, I do have my moments, but they are very few.

My diabetes seems to be in good control. That has been a challenge. It's life changing and I'm adjusting pretty well.

Until next time............Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Excitement

2010-09-15T11:21:00.000-07:00

Yay, Woot! My Bonescan was good! Next week is my visit with radiation oncology and then on to surgery. In the meantime..............

I have a wedding to go to. My oldest son is getting married Saturday at the beach. We get to leave Thursday and enjoy some sun before the big day. Everyone is so excited. I have never been to a beach wedding. I am hoping that the weather will stay good. (No rain please). In the meantime................

my youngest son went to Cancun this past Saturday and was to fly back today. Well last night they canceled his flight and said that it would be Friday before he could get a flight. OHHHH no that will not work at all cause he is the best man and he must be at the beach Friday for rehearsal. What now??? Panic, panic, panic! My son was irate and apparently let them know it. In the meantime.............

he finally got a flight out today with a different air line and should be in tonight around midnight.

Ahhhhh.......thats enough, right? Right!

Off to pack, dog to vet, then church and home to rest before tomorrow!
Lots of excitement. Hope your w/end is good and mine too, hehehe!

2010-09-14T05:28:00.001-07:00

One week ago today I received the news that I have breast cancer, WOW! Within 4 weeks I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and breast cancer. The diabetes has affected by eye sight which is very frustrating. I did finally get to have an eye exam and am getting new glasses and I can't wait to see clearly, YAY!

The breast cancer is requiring test after test before any surgery will be done. I must decide between lumpectomy and mastectomy. I am steering away from having lumpectomy due to the need to have radiation. Radiation scares me a lot. My aunt died from leukemia last year which she developed from radiation. She too started out with breast cancer. If I have a mastectomy I will not need radiation. Decisions, decisions, decision.

I had a CT chest and abdomen last Friday and it came back good. Praise God! Today I will be having a Bonescan and am praying for good news.

This is quite an adventure. I am so thankful to have God by my side and a huge support system from family and friends.

Keep me in your prayers, please!

Tomorrow.....

2010-09-06T12:18:00.000-07:00

is the day that I get my biopsy reports. I am praying that they are negative, but am prepared for whatever news I get. I know that if the results are positive that I have quite a long road ahead of me. When I found out that I had Type 1 diabetes my mother was so upset and I said to her that things could be worse, I could have cancer. Not one time did I think I might have to eat those words.

I have prayed for peace and comfort during this time and God has indeed given me that. I am truly at peace. I have not been over anguish about this. It is what it is. I am thankful to have such an awesome God.

My guys (husband and 2 sons) are a little anguish. They have been so supportive about the Diabetes and the biopsy. My trip Friday to the hospital went very well. I could not have ask for better care.

Until tomorrow............
Live, Laugh, love

Yet another surprise!

2010-09-02T11:41:00.000-07:00

I have yet another surprise in my life of 50 years. This 50 thing is about to get under my skin, hehehe. Anywho! I had an abnormal mammogram, back for magnification views...........unfortunately I have a suspicious area. So tomorrow is biopsy time. I had a total melt down yesterday and so did the hubby. My 2 boys are handling it pretty well. Finally late yesterday evening I had some me time and I spent it talking with God. After my little chat with God I have felt so much better. I am at peace with what ever comes my way. God, my family and I will do this together and I will be just fine. Keep me in your prayers, please.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Surprise!

2010-08-30T18:48:00.000-07:00

August 8th was my 50th birthday. SURPRISE! - A birthday cook out at my parents pool surrounded by family and friends on Saturday and again on Sunday. We had an awesome time. Then Monday my boys took me to Olive Garden. My meal was great, but the dessert was amazing.........Pumpkin cheesecake, yummy! (In my defense, let me say that I normally don't have dessert) My mantle is full of birthday cards and I got some really nice gifts. What a great celebration. I felt really special until..............

Tuesday I had a follow up appointment with my doctor. SURPRISE! I found out that I was a diabetic, have high cholesterol, and have Vit D deficiency. I felt shocked and surprised! This added 4 new medications to my list.

The next Wednesday I saw an Endocrinologists. SURPRISE! Not only am I a diabetic but I have Type 1 diabetes (Juvenile diabetes). Remember I just turned 50, so how is it possible that I have Type1 diabetes? Well that we are still trying to figure out. Needless to say I am now on Insulin (2 different kinds), checking my blood sugar 4 times a day, changing my eating habits and now I have a HUGE reason to exercise. My blood sugar numbers have been all over the chart. Follow up this week with the Endo to hopefully get some answers and probably more changes.

Ho hum! This just goes to show you that not all SURPRISES are the same.

UGH!

2010-08-30T06:07:00.000-07:00

Today is not going to be my day.....I felt it went I woke up this morning. As the day is getting started I see that it is true. Ugh!

I love JC Penny

2010-08-27T15:43:00.000-07:00

JC Penny is having a MEGA sale and I took advantage of it. Here is what I got.

3 Breast CA Awareness shirts (long sleeve) $ 72.00. I paid $ 16.71. Savings of $ 55.29
Sealy 330 ct King Sheets $ 140.00. I paid $ 40.60. Savings of $ 102.41
Comforter, shams, sheets & pillowcase set $ 160.00. I paid $ 44.27. Savings of $ 119.01
2 white dress shirts for my son the groom $ 86.00. I paid $ 17.10. Savings of $ 60.17

I got $ 458.00 worth of merchandise for a mere $ 118.68. WOOT!!!!

I was so excited, I never do this well.

It's no secret..............

2010-08-03T14:14:00.000-07:00

.....I do not like to cook. Although, I have really cooked over the years (mostly because I had to), but recently I have no desire to cook. I seriously wish I had someone that would come in and cook for me....wouldn't that not be an ideal situation??? I hate trying to come up with different things to fix. So I have been searching blogs for ideas. There are so many of you out there that enjoy this task and it seems to come second nature to you. I have found some really neat cooking blogs. They give you the ideas and the grocery list (if only I could have you close by to do the cooking, hahaha). This is a great thing for people like me and I thank you.

Now if only I could muster up the desire, ugh!!

His Mysterious Ways

2010-07-29T05:12:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I was off from work, so I took my Mom and we went shopping. I had a coupon from Family Christian Book Store and I can always find something there. I was looking for a bag to carry my stuff for church and I find one that I really like. If you have ever been in this store you know that when you check out they have Child Sponsorship cards representing kids that need sponsors. The program is through World Vision. I have always wanted to sponsor a child but just never did it. Yesterday I ask a few questions and decide to make my move. I picked a child from Zimbabwe. Her name is Thenjiwe and she is 10 years old. I was so excited and felt really good about it.

Anywho, as I was checking out and doing the necessary paperwork, the clerk told me that Thenjiwes card had been there for some time now, mostly because people usually picked younger children. He told me that the day before he and a co worker had prayed that some one would soon pick Thenjiwe. So he was excited that God answered his prayer and I am so glad that God used me to answer this prayer and to sponsor this child.

Our God does work in mysterious ways. Praise God!

Happy,....

2010-07-15T08:45:00.000-07:00

I must admit that I am happy as can be today, but summer usually does that to me. It's my Friday at work, YAY!! I plan to clean the house tomorrow and be by the pool as much as possible on Saturday.......so everyones drama will have to wait until another day : )

This morning I sit outside for a short time and listened to the birds. It was awesome music to my ears. I have actually being doing this for over a month now. I love it......that special time gives me the opportunity to reflect on God's blessings. You know he really is amazing. What a creator - just look around. AWESOME!!

I hope your day is good and filled with many blessings!

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Just sharing!

2010-07-08T06:34:00.000-07:00

Good News! I have officially lost 25 lbs, YepPee!! It has taken many months, but I have finally reached the goal. I am, however, considering losing 5 more lbs. It would be my safety net.

And I am back in business with a cell phone. My old one died from Diet Coke poisoning. I never knew how much I would miss that thing if I didn't have it with me. But the worse part is that I lost all of my contact numbers and I had a lot. That will never happen again (hopefully) because I am going to use the Verizon backup plan.

It's been really hot and humid lately and today will be no different. I truely would love to go home change into by bathing suit, go to my mom's and lay by the pool all day. And....read a good book, swim and/or take a nap in the shade. Oh would that not be heavenly???

Ugh, back to work!!

Bloggy makeover

2010-07-01T08:46:00.000-07:00

So I have not been really good at blogging lately, but I have been good at reading blogs lately. After surfing the bloggy atmosphere I have decided that I need a much needed blog makeover. Changing my blog look is not easy for me. It takes time and patience (which I don't have much of). Plus my Internet at home is not the best. Sigh! I am thinking of having someone re invent my blog. Then I wonder about the expense. I have no idea how much a bloggy makeover is. And then I might just make some simple changes myself. Who knows?

Psssssstttt! I am work and I so want to go home..........another SIGH!

Confused

2010-06-24T06:37:00.001-07:00

People confuse me sometimes. I don't understand their thinking. I don't understand some of the things they say. I don't understand some of the things they do.

I really don't understand why they find the need to constantly lie. I might could understand a lie every once in awhile, but constantly. It really doesn't make them look better. I especially detest it when they look me in the face and tell me a HUGE LIE and I know their telling a lie. What are they thinking?

I believe I would like them so much better if they could just be their self.

Sigh!

Awwww!

2010-06-10T07:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a wicked day, so busy at work, people being not nice people, drama once again at church and I was just tired.

Today however is a new day.........so far so good. My mood is not the greatest. I am a worry wart and a fixer. It is really hard for me to sit back and watch things happen and not jump in to try and fix it. But, for my sanity I must sit back and watch. Am I the only person who has this problem?

Anywho, early this morning (7:30 am) my oldest son called me (way early for him to call, heart racing) just to talk. Awwwww! That is one of those moments that takes your breath away. I felt special. We had a great conversation and it was a good way to start my day. I needed that!

I am at work now, feeling a little blah (mostly because I hate drama and I know the storm is brewing). Hoping for a good day.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

To funny not to share......

2010-05-14T09:18:00.001-07:00

This morning, being the bad girl that I am, decided to have breakfast from McDonald's. I heart their Mocha Frappe. Anywho, the lady in front of me was ordering and since I had my window down I could every work she was saying. The conversation when like this:

McD: Welcome to McDonalds. Would you like to try a Mocha Frappe?

Customer: No! I want four coffee's with Sweet & Low and cream.

McD: I am sorry we do not have S&L, would you like Splenda or Equal?

Customer: No I want Sweet & Low and cream.

McD: What I am saying is that we don't have S&L, would you like Splenda or Equal?

Customer: WHAT I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU IS THAT I WANT SWEET & LOW AND CREAM. ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME??? (With hands waving out the window)

McD: I am really sorry, but we do not have Sweet & Low. You will have to choose Splenda or Equal.

Customer: Just give me Equal and cream.

Customer drives around and pays.

Next window to pick up her order, she tells them that she wants Sweet & Low and cream. Now the manager is at the window explaining that they do not have S&L.

OH MY!!!! It was hilarious to watch and listen.

Thanks for the entertainment!!!!!!!!!!

"WHY?"

2010-05-13T04:59:00.000-07:00

I have a very heavy heart today............. Several people I know are struggling with cancer and it breaks my heart. My son's friends father has colon CA and they have only given him weeks to live. He has fought an incredible battle. My friend's husband has recently been diagnosised with esophageal and liver CA. In a matter of weeks he has gone down hill super fast. An old friend was diagnosised just last week with advanced colon CA. A co-worker of my husband's is having health issues and they are still not sure what is going on, but its looking like he has cirrhosis of the liver and it's pretty advanced.

I am lifting each of these people and their families up to the Lord in prayer. I am praying for healing, comfort, peace. I know each of them are struggling with pain, weakness and many other health issues, as cancer is a mean disease.

Perhaps that is why I am so blah lately. I feel helpless in these situations. I am and will continue to pray for them. I will never understand "WHY" but will remember that God is in control.

Blessings to all..................

Blah Blah Blah

2010-05-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

Ok I admit it, I am a little blah today. It actually started yesterday. I can't pinpoint why, but you know when you get the blahs it always seems that everything else just plays right along. Innocent family / people hurt your feelings, you take things the wrong way, you can't get anything done on time or done right, you have no energy or no desire to do anything. I hate this mood and the thoughts that come along with it. Praying that tomorrow will be a better day.

Friday

2010-05-07T07:22:00.000-07:00

I don't desire to wish my life away, but I am super happy that it is Friday. I am so looking forward to my weekend. Plans with my family tonight, shopping plans with my BFF on Saturday, plans for a huge family "Mothers Day" lunch on Sunday and of course time to worship our God.

Oh, how could I forget, Saturday is my dad's birthday.

Hope you have an awesome weekend, I plan to!

2010-04-19T17:54:00.000-07:00

Oh man what a day!! I am pooped. We were busy at work, some strange and weird happenings. We have had a lot days like that recently. Busy is good, I call that job security.

I am adjusting to changes in my life, slowly buy surely. My new motto is..............If I can't change it, whats the point in worrying about it? It seems to be working well for me. Also, I have been spending more time in prayer and relinquishing more to God. We do indeed have an awesome God!

This past Sunday we started studying Genesis in Sunday School. Interesting thoughts from SS class mates. We actually didn't get very far in the first Chapter of Genesis. Who knew there would be so much discussion. I am so excited about this study. One of the question that was ask is- if God made man, where did God come from?? Ok, personally I don't ponder on this to much. I just accept that God is and has always been. What about you? Any thoughts?

I am off to bed to read and then get a good nights sleep.

Dear You.......

2010-04-06T05:01:00.000-07:00

I will never understand why you feel the need to play dumb or tell little white lies or rearranged a circumstance to your advantage. It doesn't look nice on you! As my day goes along when you do these things, I become ill with you. Sometimes I say things I should not or think things I should not. Why do you do this? The only thing I can ever come up with is that you are always trying to make yourself look good and that you will do whatever it takes to accomplish that, even if it hurts someone else in the process. I wish you would just be yourself. Stop trying to make others look bad. It will come around to get you and is it going to be worth it. I doubt it!

One particular day as you were up to your shenanigans, God stepped in and answered my prayer. I had prayed that God would help me to keep my mouth shut and move on, over looking your shenanigans. Praise God he did! Later in the day, God again stepped in while my mind was thinking of you and your desperation of attention and told me that I should PRAY FOR YOU! What! Seriously? Wow, what was I to do? Of course I will listen to God.

So my friend full of shenanigans and desperation, I am praying for you as God has ask me to do. I am excited to see how God is going to work in your life. Oh have no doubt he is going to be working on you. My hope is that you will let him in and push the devil away.

Doc Appts

2010-04-02T05:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took the day off and filled it with doctor appointments. First off to the allergy doc. My very first visit to the allergy doctor. Lots of needle sticks, but it was so worth it to finally get some help. It was funny to find out that I am highly allergic to grass and advised to stay away from fresh cut grass (that's not gonna happen, especially since my yard is HUGE!) Allergic to oak trees, which I am surrounded by, oops! Anywho, new meds and in two weeks start my shots. Woot! Is it odd to be excited about taking shots?

On to the eye doctor office. I have new glasses and I cannot see out of them unless I raise my chin and look through the bifocal part. So I took them back and explained to the technician what was going on. She tried many adjustments, which obviously did not work and then calls on a gentleman to help me. Again we go through adjustments. At this point I am not sure what part of I can not see through the top part of my glasses they are not getting. The gentlemen holds up a card straight it front of me and says can you see that. Again, NO its blurring. He tells me to raise my chin, now can you see it. Yes I can! (because i am looking through the bifocal part). And he says.... "Well ok then there you go." hummmm, I am thinking and really trying to be nice and finally I say "I cannot walk around all day with my chin up in the air" and dufus says "Oh!" What an idiot! Finally I have to make another appointment to get my eyes check again. After reading my chart he discovers that my new lens are weaker than my old ones. Huh??? How does that work?? Needless to say I have to have another eye exam. Oh holy crap!!!

On to the next doc appointment to get my meds for headaches and the lovely ones that keeps me from wanting to hurt somebody. Great short visit. Yay!

It was a full day, but at least I did get to ride with my window down. Yay for sunshine and warm weather.

Bucket List

2010-03-27T14:34:00.003-07:00

Today has been a special day. Up bright and early this morning and on the road by 7 am to Jonesville. It was an 1 1/2 hour drive to...................Carolina Skydiving. Yup we really did go there. My youngest son had a wish, for his birthday he wanted to go Skydiving and skydiving he did. He had to sign all kinds of legal papers. You know the ones that say if there is an accident you can not sue us or if you were to die your family can not sue us. No sign, no skydive. So he signed away.

He was so excited and I was excited for him. He has wanted to do this forever. There were 4 of us that went with him (on the road trip, not the plane ride). That 4 did not include his father - he refused to watch. So after having a brief instructional class and watching a brief movie, he was on his way. He never seemed nervous at all.

All geared up, away they went. Up, up, and away in a very small puddle jumper (4 passenger). A little over 10,000 feet in the air, attached to a professional skydiver with only 4 hooks, they jumped off of a very small ledge on the plane, turned two flips, free fell for a whole whopping 35 seconds before pulling the cord and then just soared around for a while and had a safe landing.

As I expected he was all smiles and wanted to do it again. However, I am afraid he will have to save a little money before he does that again. That was not a cheap thrill.

So glad he did, so glad he enjoyed it, so glad he had a safe dive. He can mark that one off of his bucket list.

Good Girl!

2010-03-25T18:18:00.000-07:00

Well after being sick since Monday and no recovery in sight (watery eyes, sneezing, runny nose, nasal congestion) I made myself an appointment with the allergy doctor. Not what I wanted to do, but this time around the allergies / sinus crap has got the best of me and I don't want to keep doing this. I have had enough. The hard part is that I can not take any antihistamines for 5 days before my appointment. I don't know how I am going to do this. UGH!!

Hopefully it will be worth it!

Random thoughts today..........

2010-03-23T10:04:00.001-07:00

I am tired of being sick, I have a sinus infection or some kind of crud

I miss my BFF.

I hate it when people whisper, send an email or text - stop trying to make me feel like your talking about me.

I hate it when people suck up and play the game, just be yourself!!! or least don't complain to me about it and then change because you feel the need to suck up, ugh!!

What the crap am I going to fix for dinner? An everyday challenge because I don't enjoy cooking.
No I don't want to try your 5 for $5.01, just give me my sandwich.

I wish the rules didn't change everyday.

Can I just go home and go to bed??

Delete

2010-03-17T04:47:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wished there was a Delete button for life? You know the times when you have said something that you really wished you hadn't. The time that your mouth speaks before your brain can process what comes out. The minute it comes out you know that you have messed up, ugh!! Delete! all better, starting over, thinking, then speaking.

Have you ever had a situation that you would like to delete from your mind? The situation that you somehow found yourself involved in, but would love to move on and forget it or you wish it never never never would have happen in the first place. Delete! Delete! Mind clear!!

I wont go as far to say that I would like to delete a person from my life. No I would never wish that. Hmmm, yes I have thought that, sorry. Not to say that I would delete them away for ever and ever, just away from me. Delete!

There are many things that I wish I could delete and start over, but as we all know that is impossible. Can you image being able to have a delete button? I am thinking there would be abuse of the delete button, hehehe.

There would be many life lessons I would miss if I had a delete button, so maybe it's not such a good idea. The best answer to those "I wish I had not said that" is prayer. The best answer to rough situations is prayer. The best answer to people who drive me absolutely nuts is prayer.

Is it not awesome to know that you can take everything to God in prayer? He is there 24 /7. I love the little smiles and warm heart I get went I realize that God has answered my prayers or when I see him working in ways that I never could have imaged. Sure God does really big things, but I do so enjoy the small things as well.

Live, Laugh, Love

Donna

Sunshine

2010-03-15T07:39:00.000-07:00

I am so loving the sunshine today! Ready for spring!

But on the flip side: There are somethings in life that you just gotta laugh about or they will drive you nuts. So today is a Sunny-Laughing day : )

Ugh!!

2010-03-09T10:12:00.000-08:00

I am so not me today. Who knows what the problem is. I think it is just a hormonal thingy. Blah!!! You would think that as nice as the weather is today I would be super upbeat and motivated, NOT! It doesn't help that my mind is playing tricks on me - does that ever happen to you? A few small things going on always adds up to one large headache. I need a vacation!! Even the radio is getting to me today, isn't that ridiculous?

I need to have a God "walk about." That is the name I give for my much needed conversation with God...........I usually go walking on our driveway (1 mile long) alone and just have a good ole talk with God. Now if my neighbors, which are not real close but can see me, watch me doing this, they must think I am crazy........I am looking at the sky, making motions with my arms and the lips are moving alot. Perhaps I should do this in the dark, which I have before. HaHaHa
It's a different time with God then simply saying my prayers. It's a time when I feel like I am going over the edge, so walking and talking to God really helps. Maybe this evening. Don't call the cops, I will be ok.

Update on my Mom - she is doing great after her surgery. YAY! Praise God!

Hope you are having a great day!

Snow

2010-03-02T10:33:00.000-08:00

It is once again snowing here in my little town! It's beautiful, refreshing, peaceful and fun (most of the times). If it keeps coming it's gonna mess up my plans this evening, for that I will be sad. But looking on the bright side - we can always reschedule. In the meantime I get to act like a little kid in the candy store, I love the snow!

Precious Moments....

2010-02-27T06:22:00.000-08:00

Wednesday I stayed with Mom while dad went to run a few errands. Mom was propped up in her bed with lots of pillows and cushions surrounding her knee that she just had surgery on. The TV was on and honestly I really don't remember what she was watching. After a little bit Mom said I think I will take a nap if that's ok with you. I said sure, I might just crawl up in that bed beside of you and take a nap also. She said that would be great. So that's just exactly what I did. I snuggled in beside of mom (being careful not to hit the knee) and covered with a really warm blanket. Mom actually did take a nap, I didn't sleep. I watched a little TV and did a little thinking of the old days and just enjoyed being all snuggled close to Mom - something that I had not done in years. It was a precious moment! We may grow up, but special times with Mom is always needed even when it is something so simple as snuggling.

And then last night we had family dinner. After dinner the boys stayed to play the Wii (Mario Brothers). They had a great time. It was fun listening to them laugh, play arguing of over who did this or who did that. I was in another room, but I could hear them and it brought me such joy and a smile on my face. Another precious moment!

I love those precious moments. It is amazing at how much they will warm your heart!

2010-02-20T07:12:00.000-08:00

Mom came home from the hospital yesterday, which was a day earlier than we thought. She had a rough ride home, but once she got home things settled down. Yesterday evening after work I picked Mom and Dad's dinner up for them and went to their house. Mom was lying in the bed, so we sit her up and she had dinner in bed. Once she was all finished, I laid in the bed with her and we just talked and watched TV. It was fun! I know you may think that is silly, but seriously to lay in the bed with my Mom and just be us was indeed a cherished moment. Don't get me wrong, I am truly sorry that she had to have surgery and is as they say "laid up for a while" but it was a much needed mother / daughter time. So needless to say, Mom is doing quite well.

Today it is beautiful here. The sun is shining and it is going to be around 60 degrees, Yay! I have a busy day ahead, church things, 2 birthday parties and some much needed cleaning and laundry to do. Oh yeah and a little time outside to soak up some Vit D.

I hope you have a wonderful day however you spend it.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Mom..

2010-02-18T10:08:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my mother had to have knee revision, something that we all dreaded alot. She had her surgery in Asheville, which is a little more than 1 hour away from us. Since she had to be there at 5 am (yes really 5 am) we went to Asheville on Tuesday and spent the night. Dad and I felt that would be better for mom since she is quite a nervous person.

As I said we all dreaded this surgery because the last one was very difficult for her. Anywho, as most of you know nothing goes as planned, arrived at 5 am, surgery was to be at 7:15 am. Well......surgery started at 8:15 and was over around 10:10 am. Everything went well. As this point we are waiting on a room for her. They always tell you there are no available rooms, in truth they don't have enough nurses to cover. Mom stayed in regular recovery so we were not able to see her. I didn't like that part because I needed to see her for myself and decide how she was doing, but they don't really care how I think she is doing, rules are rules- and I get that. They were kind enough to call ever so often and let us know how she was.

Finally at 2:30 pm we get the call that she is going to her room. Again comes the dread of how she is going to do. Nobody wants to see their mother suffer. Much to my surprise she was smiling and that was totally awesome to me. She really did well during the surgery / recovery process.

I was so relieved and so was my dad. Lots and lots of prayers were said for mother and God answered those prayers. Praise God!!

Is it not awesome when your prayers are answered and God puts that little appreciative smile on your face and you offer those 2 little words to God - Thank You!

Talked with Mom this morning and she is still doing well and I am still thanking and praising God for answered prayers!!

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Frustration

2010-02-13T06:18:00.000-08:00

Do you ever find yourself so frustrated with things that you allow the devil to work in you? And just as you have let the devil do his work through you, suddenly you realize what has happen and you are then upset with yourself for doing it? Well I find that the closer you try to be with God, the harder the devil works!!!!

Do you know people who take advantage of situations, who abuse the the system? Who use you to get what they want? People who don't really care how it affects you, they are only thinking of their self. This frustrates me! I allow it to upset me (devil working).

I over reacted to a situation recently, it was bad and afterwards I was not pleased with myself and I am sure that God was not either. So, this week when frustrating things have been happening to me, I have tried really hard to let it go, to relinquish all to God. I ask God to take it and deal with it, that I AM letting it go. And he does!!! When I truly let go I can then feel the peace in the situation. That is an awesome feeling. Now if I could only do it every time. Instead of being upset, I try to pray for myself and whom ever the situation involves. I try to react how God would want me to (not always easy for me). I truly believe that this will be an ongoing struggle for me, mostly because I am a stubborn person. (yes, really I am)

Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. Psalm 118:5

Thank goodness he is still working on me!

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

2010-01-23T13:37:00.000-08:00

What a week! Lows, highs, disappointments, encouragement...............and the list goes on and on. Can't reveal too much, you never know who's looking, hahaha. Sneaky people, shame on you!!! This is my blog and I should be able to put on it what I want to, right? Well you never know when it's gonna come back to bite you in the buttock.

Enough said about that. You get the point, don't you?

I want to share with you a reading that I found while doing my devotions this week. It really spoke to me. It comes from Daily Guideposts 2009.

Scripture first: .....A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted.
Ecclesiastes 3.2

You sow seeds every day whether you know it or not.
Some plantings grow to be food for the soul:
the songs you sing aloud or hum in silence;
the kind words you speak to those with aching hearts;
the prayers that live within you.

Some plantings can crowd out the lettuce and the lilies:
weeds that plant themselves and settle in, like hurtful words carelessly spoken.
These must be plucked up.

The planting and the plucking up are two parts of one thing--
you are the sower; God is the grower.
The harvest is one whole and holy soul.

Dear God, I confess that I sow and reap both joy and pain as I walk through life. I trust that You can make a thriving garden of my plantings.

I so needed that reading this week and it has meant so much to me. I hope you will benefit from it also.

With Love,
Donna

2010-01-17T11:05:00.000-08:00

What a weekend!!! Lets start with Friday.......it was a day of shock, a day of confusion, a day of sadness, a day of joy, a day of rejoicing.

Friday, one of my very best friends lost her job : ( I was sad for her, hurt for her, how much more could she take? Another blow that she didn't need. You see, she had lost a child to Trisomy 18 in October and returned to work in late December and Friday, as I said, lost her job. WOW! I ached so much for her and wondered what's next?

Friday evening I attended a Women's Conference at this same friend's church. What a great time. The Lord was surely present. My friend spoke at the conference about her loss of "Johanna" to Trisomy 18. She praised God for her blessing, yes her blessing of "Johanna." She spoke of how this had changed her life and of how a ministry called "Johanna's Gift" had been started in remembrance of her little girl. This ministry will reach out to other mothers who are expecting a child and are in need of guidance and baby supplies.

I knew after she spoke that my friend was indeed going to be just fine. God is working in her life in a huge way. God has bigger plans for her. I could not entirely see that earlier Friday, but clearly I do see it now. Praise God!!

The keynote speaker at the Women's Conference was Carol Kent. She was awesome. She was a christian lady who had/has trials and tribulations in her life, she was someone that you could relate to. As she told her story it touched my heart as a mother. I am not sure that I could have made it through what she had faced as a mother, but she has!!! and she praises God for that. You see God has a plan for each of us and though there are times that things get in the way or things happen that we don't understand why, if we will relinquish all to God, he will show us his plan in a marvelous unexpecting way.

I have been through many trials in my life, don't we all have these? One particular trial ripped me apart. I ALLOWED this trial to rip me apart. I was sinking quickly. I was hurting by an action that someone had done to me. I believe that God sent me a special friend to help me through this trial. She listened and encouraged me. She shared her faith. She taught me to forgive. She helped me to relinquish all to God. I could never have made it through this trial without her, my family and most of all God.

When others hurt us we must forgive them as God forgives us of our sins, our mistakes. If we don't forgive them, how can we expect God to forgive us? There are times that I find it hard to forgive. I carry the hurts with me for days, sometimes weeks and sometimes even longer. But
once I relinquish all to God, things get better.

Romans 12: 20-21 "If you enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Praising God for special friends, family, forgiveness and his unconditional love.

Donna

Busy!!!

2010-01-14T15:00:00.000-08:00

This is the busiest week I have had in a long time, I'm tired. Thank goodness it's Thursday. For the first week in I can't remember when, we do not have an afternoon off from work. Of course this comes at a bad time for me because I have so much going on at church. (I suppose that's a good problem to have.) Month end reports, year end reports, W2's, 1099's, contribution reports, Finance Meeting tonight, Admin Council meeting on Sunday, shhhuuueeee weeeee!!!! I wills survive, I hope : )

I am looking forward to Friday and Saturday - I am attending a Women's Conference at my friends church. Carole Kent will be the main speaker. However, my BFF, will be speaking first on Friday night - she will share her story / blessing about her daughter "Johanna Raye." Johanna Raye was born with Trisomy 18 and lived 63 glorious minutes. Johanna Raye has touched so many lives and continues to do so. Praise God!

I look forward to this meeting and I am in much need of this time - to share, to laugh, to hug, to praise our God and so much more.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Haiti.....

2010-01-13T18:35:00.000-08:00

I am quite sure that most of you have heard about the earthquake in Haiti. It is so sad and I hope that you will keep Haiti in your prayers. I was reading "Kelly's Korner" blog this evening and she gave directions for donations to the Red Cross and Compassion Disaster Relief. So simple that I wanted to share with you, in hopes that you might be interested.

"There are many ways you can donate - an easy way is to text "Haiti" to 90999 to give $10 to the Red Cross. It will be on your next phone bill. OR you can text "disaster" to 90999 to give $10 to Compassion's disaster relief program."

Yup, it's that simple. I did it in a matter of moments.

Praying for Haiti.......................

What do you want to be when you grow up?

2010-01-06T11:16:00.000-08:00

I have a nephew who is 11 years old. He is a little small for his age and always has been. When my nephew was younger, my boys would ask him "What do you want to be when you grow up?" They taught him to say "bigger." That has been an ongoing thing between them over the years. During Christmas when we were all together, they once again ask him "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And as usual he said "bigger."

That question got me to thinking about myself. Here I am an adult with grown children and am I who I want to be when I grow up? My answer is "No." Most people make resolutions at the New Year and yes I have before - with failure.

This year I do not want to fail, I want to become a better me! A better me in different ways. I have goals that I intend on reaching.

I want to become closer to God; by reading the Bible more, by studying the Bible more, increasing my prayers, and although I go to church 99% of the time, I want to get more out of church, which requires me to be a better listener. I need to have an open mind and open heart.

I want to of course lose weight, exercise at least 3-4 times a week. I have done this before and I know that exercise makes you feel better, physically and mentally.

I want to do more for others. Support our local Burke United Christian Ministries, support the Back Pack Friday program at a local school for children who don't have food other the weekends. And in any way that God leads me.

I want to start saving money and stop wasting money. I want to buy out of need and not out of desire. (Although I really want a new TV so I can get my exercise program under way at work)
I am learning to use coupons and shop wisely. Today I used coupons at the grocery store and saved $26 dollars. I was so proud. I did it and it felt good. That leaves me more money to use in ways to help others.

I want to be a better wife and mother. Be more understanding and patient. Our family is very close and I do want to keep it that way.

And a biggy ...... I want to stop being a procrastinator. This is gonna be a tough one. (hehehe)

I WANT TO BE A BETTER ME!!! So, I am on my way.........

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

It's time : (

2010-01-02T11:59:00.000-08:00

Well friends, I am gonna do it today. I am finally and hesitantly taking down my Christmas tree. I do not like taking down my tree because I love looking at it, I love the memories that are hung on my tree and I love the lights. I never take my tree down this early, but I am going back to work Monday after being off for 1 1/2 wks and I hate the thoughts of spending next weekend taking the tree down. Ugh!!! It's like saying goodbye to an old friend (see you in a year). Well maybe I will wait until later......NO! there is no time like the present. Yes I will and can do this today.

I had an awesome Christmas and so far the new year as started off with no drama, no action, no sadness (who am I kidding, yes there has been sadness, but not much) no stress (lol). Just maybe this year is going to be calm, fulfilling, smooth (again LOL) and one of the best that I have had in a while. It could always be worse, right? RIGHT!

Ok, I have put it off long enough. I must and get the tree down.............

Happy New Year my friends and God Bless!
Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Is it time?

2009-12-29T07:32:00.000-08:00

I am off from work this week and trying to catch up on some things. Today I am pondering if I should take down my tree. It is time to take it down, isn't it? Nay, I think I will leave it up until tomorrow. I love the lights (just like a kid), so I need at least one more day. When it comes to taking the tree down, I am a procrastinator. One year I left my tree up until February and boy did the family make fun of me. So, let me have one more day with my tree and I promise to take it down tomorrow.

At church this past Sunday we had our Christmas children's program - it was awesome! They were so cute and funny (in a good way). We even had a live baby Jesus, well for most of the program. When he got tired of being the center of attraction he had to be replaced with a toy baby Jesus.

During our church service we have been having a "Discipleship Moment." This week a gentlemen in our church shared this: At a school in our community there are approximately 200 children that leave school on Friday and never have anything to eat until they return to school on Monday. GASP!! I had no idea. This news breaks my heart (tearing up). So, along with another church in our community we are starting "Back Pack Friday," which means that these children will be supplied with a back pack full of food for the weekend. Food will be gathered through out the week at both churches, then on Thursday night volunteers will gather and fill the back packs with donated food. I love the idea. What a great way to help those in need.

So, Sunday night I went to Wal Mart and to the Dollar General Store and purchased food. I was so excited while shopping, knowing that I was going to be helping a family in need.

Helping and giving to those in need as God would have us to do - it is such a privilege and a joy. I am thankful that I can help with this and excited that our church is involved.

Hope everyone has a good week!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T21:46:00.000-08:00

My evening was spent with my hubby, my parents, our boys and their girlfriends. We had a great evening together. We had soup and salad for dinner and then we gave presents out. Everyone was excited, talking, sharing stories - it was wonderful. I am very appreciative of my gifts, but one particular gift stands out in my mind.

The hubs and I purchased new Bibles for our boys and their girlfriends (which I will refer to as our girls from here on out). We choose the NIV Men's and Women's Devotional Bibles for them and had their names put on them. We choose this particular version because it is the version they use in their Sunday School class.

The Bibles were wrapped so they had no idea what the gifts were. We had them to all open the gifts at the same time. They were so excited and pleased with the Bibles and I was overwhelmed with their responses. (tears, tears) It's not that I didn't think they would appreciate the Bibles, I just never considered how MUCH they would appreciate them.

I was thankful for the evening spent with my family, but most of all the gift of overwhelming joy I received in my heart to see those faces when they received their Bibles. Oh the joy of giving!

Praise God for our blessings. My cup overflows. My God, our God is an awesome God. I am thankful for the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and the price he paid to save us from our sins.

Happy Birthday Jesus!! Merry Christmas everyone!

2009-12-19T12:08:00.000-08:00

YAY! we have 8 inches of snow at my house. I can not express how excited I have been!!! I don't usually get to play when it does snow because I am always at work..... but this time I was off Friday afternoon and because its the weekend, I have played and played. Last night the hubby, our boys and their girlfriends went sledding. It was so much fun. Today I was up early riding the tractor with the hubby while he cleared our very long drive way. Of course we had to clear some of the neighbors driveways also. Then off with the boys to ride 4 wheelers. We rode on the mountain behind our house. The views from the mountain side were absolutely beautiful. I love the snow! We have built snowmen, made snow angels and through snow balls. Since the wind has started to blow and because I am pooped, I think I will stay in for a while and take a much needed nap.

It's been a great snow day!

Snow

2009-12-18T05:52:00.000-08:00

Finally, it's snowing here! I am sooooo excited!!!!! I love the snow. Now if I could just get out of work and go home to play. YAY!!!!!

Have you noticed.........

2009-12-16T04:36:00.000-08:00

....in the grocery stores there are boxes or bags of food for you to purchase for around $5.00? That food is given to those in need and who are less fortunate than you or I. I personally enjoy purchasing one or two each time I get groceries. It makes me feel good that I am helping someone in need, that I am giving as God would have me to do. Also, it's the mystery of giving to someone I don't know. It's the blessing of sharing, not only food, but God's love.

If one of you has money enough to live well and sees a brother or sister in need and refuses to help - how can God's love be in that person? 1 John 3:17

I am not saying that I am a wealthy person, but I am blessed with a job, food, family and a home. I hope during this season when you go to the grocery store and you see those boxes or bags of food, that you too will purchase and share God's love with others.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

2009-12-15T10:08:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness, today is a better day. I am drowning in paperwork, but at least today is a better day. It was foggy / rainy / cold this morning, but at least today is a better day.

For this I am thankful!!

Monday, ugh!

2009-12-14T06:33:00.000-08:00

How can someone who chewed your "arce" up one side and down the other on Friday for something you had absolutely nothing to do with, expect you to be happy to see them on Monday? Two days away did not cure my hurt feelings. Lets just do the job and go home, okay? OKAY!

LOL

2009-12-11T07:23:00.001-08:00

The hubby and I have been married for 30 years, yes I married young. Anywho, we bought a farm very early in our marriage, which had a nice (hehehe) ranch style house. Ever since we moved there I have always wanted to put a deck on the backside of our house. When we had kids I really pushed the issue. The hubby, of course, saw no need for a deck and I was always told we didn't have the money (which in truth we didn't). As the kids grew I pushed the deck issue. I could see MANY uses with this deck involving the kids and when we had people over for cook outs. I tried being forceful...........I want a deck for the kids and I to play on!!!! Again and again the hubby said NO! (only of course because he didn't want a deck). There were even times that we had petty arguments about this deck.

Now, our kids are grown and moving on with their lives, so not much use for a deck now. I actually gave up on the deck about 8-10 years ago.

SURPRISE! We are getting a deck, so I was told yesterday. WHY NOW?? I don't know. I explained to the hubby that I didn't want a deck now, the reasons for wanting the deck are now gone. And he said.......but honey you have always wanted a deck. I have ordered the lumbar already.

At this point all I can do is LOL!!! He just doesn't get it, but that's ok, better late than never. LOL, LOL, LOL, LOL

Finally....

2009-12-08T16:52:00.000-08:00

My computer has been down and quite frankly so have I. Finally, I have my computer going. The problem was simple, but I so dreaded the time of calling tech support where you hold and hold and hold. Eventually I found the time and it turned out to be a 15 min conversation, yes really, that's all. I was so surprised myself. BUT, it took hours to reboot and download. But I did it all by myself. I am so proud.

Now for me - I am tired, frustrated, excited about Christmas, missing my friend, finally sleepy a little better, ill, have a sinus infection, thankful that God loves me, feel like I am not getting what I need from church, thankful that I have a job, too busy, have no patience, headaches again, very fortunate to have a wonderful husband and boys. So do you get it? I am a MESS, but loving life.

TGI Wednesday!

2009-11-25T17:46:00.001-08:00

I am sooooo glad that it is Wednesday and that I am off from work Thurs and Friday! YAY!! I have not had good days in a while. Some my fault, some other peoples fault. But things are looking up. Tomorrow family and friends (minus Jim and Jennifer) are coming to my house for Thanksgiving Lunch. I am excited about this. I look forward to being together - talking and laughing, sharing stories (old and new), not to mention the food. This is my day to eat whatever I want and how ever much I want.

I just need to breathe, slow down, sleep, relax and rest, which is exactly what I intend on doing over the next few days.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

2009-11-23T06:04:00.001-08:00

Ever felt like the needle in the haystack that no one can find???

Just thinking........

Weekend Wrap Up

2009-11-22T17:16:00.000-08:00

I would love to tell you that my weekend as been great. Truth is Friday's crappy day flowed on into the weekend. I was hoping for a great Saturday and Sunday, but nahhhh, no such luck. So I can honestly tell you that I am ready for Monday. Ready to be back at work and hoping that Monday is going to start out differently, better. It just as too. I am drained from all the other junk. Need to smile, laugh and just have a normal day. No more fussing, no more arguing, no more crap. I tired................

2009-11-20T17:26:00.000-08:00

I have had a crappy day. People have tested me to my limit. Yeah I have feelings too, yeah I get hurt just like you, yeah your remarks piss me off too. But being me, means that I have to be the perfect person - no feelings, being perfect, following the rules, waiting on someone til they are ready, not matter how long I have to sit and wait, my time is not important. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Looking for better days~!

It's Friday..............

2009-11-20T06:41:00.000-08:00

so why am I not in a good mood? I am in such a funk today. I hate feeling like this. Lots and lots of things to be happy about, but noooooo I must feel like crap today. Ugh!!!! My patience, (what patience) are gone today. My nerves are on edge. It's one of those days in which I want to go home, jump in bed and hide.

I need hugs and lots of them. It is tough being a woman : (

When your husband cries..

2009-11-16T09:43:00.001-08:00

My husband's biological mother died when he was three. He doesn't remember much about her at all. Yesterday during church, his stepmom and he had a long conversation about many things, but somehow got of on the subject of his biological mother. They didn't make it to preaching because they spent so much time talking after Sunday school. Anywho, She told him a story about his biological mother that really broke his heart.

His mother had breast CA and when it came time for her to leave this world, she put both of her hands on my husband's cheeks (remember he was three at the time) and told him how much she loved him and that she would be leaving soon to go and live with Jesus. My husband does not remember this at all. Off and on all day yesterday he cried because he could not remember that moment and wondered why. He wanted so desperately to remember. He ask so many times why he couldn't remember. He was breaking my heart - again he cried, we cried, my children cried. It was a very emotional day for him. You know it always breaks your heart when your children cry over disappointment and you can't change anything, but let me tell you it hurts just as bad when your husband cries.

I am not sure what the answer is, but in my way of thinking I told him this.......I believe that God is protecting you from this memory, because if you would remember, it just might be harder on you than not remembering.

There have been many times over the years that we have been married that he has told me he wishes so bad that he could remember his biological mother. Don't get me wrong, he has a great step mother who has loved and cared for him as her very own, and unless you knew that was his step mother you would never be able to tell otherwise.

It seems to me that as the hubby gets older and our children get older, he seems to be bothered more and more about not being able to remember or know his biological mother. I don't have the answer, but I can offer him love, support and my time of listening.

Praying today that God will give him comfort and peace.

Donna

My day!

2009-11-14T06:37:00.001-08:00

It is so pretty outside today. The sun is shining, the fall leaves (what is left) is sparkling in the sun. So what am I going to do today?

Clean a little, shop a little, play a little (outside of course), dream a little and have a fantastic day.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

2009-11-12T06:23:00.000-08:00

Well have much hesitation I had to purchase a new cell phone. My flip phone has seen its better days. It is slowing dying. So the hubby and I venture to the Verizon store and wait, and wait, and wait in line. Who knew it would be busy yesterday and why? On dumb me, forgot that schools were out and people were off from work for Veterans' Day.

Anywho, finally I decide to get the enV Touch. WOW - touch screen and Internet capability. I am moving up. So after all the paperwork, we finally get to leave.

I have had my new phone since yesterday afternoon and I HATE IT!!! I so miss my flip phone. Sometimes upgrade is not good for everyone. UGH!!!!!!!

2009-11-06T09:37:00.000-08:00

So I am not having the greatest day, but not too bad. I have allowed others to "push me over the edge" so to speak. Not good!! I am just a little flustered. Why do I let them do that?? Who knows.......that's just me. Besides everyone has their moments, right? So after some much needed counseling session with a friend, I am back on track. The rest of the day will be GOOD!, right?

TGIF!!!

Raising Cain

2009-11-05T10:03:00.000-08:00

As some of you know I have started a Bible study. The book I am using is "Know the Bible in 30 Days." I purchased this book some time back from Guideposts. I am enjoying it very much, but it is going to take me longer than 30 days. First it's a lot of reading and I am ok with that, but I am famous for reading and re-reading, so I am taking a little longer. That's ok, it's what I retain that matters.

Anyways, the book offers "Did You Know?" sections along the way. The other night when I read a particular one I was surprised, I didn't know that. Now you guys or gals may know this little bit of tidbit, but I didn't and it has stuck with me. So please allow me to share and don't think I am dumb for not knowing this. Here goes...........

Did you know? Ever wonder where the expression "raising Cain" came from? When people are squeamish about using profanity, they are reluctant to say "raising hell." And because Cain, the first murderer on earth, presumably went to hell after he died, "raising Cain" has the same meaning as "raising hell."

Who knew? I sure didn't I actually have never wondered where that saying came from. Did you know that??

Rambling...

2009-11-04T18:35:00.001-08:00

I'm tired!! (just thought I would throw that in) I could eat everything in the house right now. Good thing I don't have any chocolate anywhere. I really have been eating healthier, drinking lots of water (floating). I am doing very well or I was until tonight. I haven't done it yet......but most likely I am going to have something sweet tasty and bad for me. hehehe

Let me see, hummm................what has been going on in my life lately?? Oh yeah, the hubby and I celebrated our anniversary last week (10/28). We went out of town on Thursday, back on Friday -- the weather was not good and the hubby was getting sick. Sunday evening rolls around and he is much worse. He goes to the doc on Monday and turns out he has H1N1. Who knew?? Today he is much better and even went back to work. I have been walking around on egg shells.........Waiting, cloroxing, lysoling, washing everything, taking loads of Vit C, staying away from him and HOPING I don't get that crap. So far so good!!!

This past week a dear sweet gentleman from our church passed away. He was such a neat person with a great love for the Lord. His son called to see if my son, Travis, would be a pall bearer. The gentleman had told his wife that when he passed away he wanted Travis as a pall bearer. That really has touched Travis and it was an honor.

And as of this moment I am having a Blue Bunny no sugar added Krunch bar. Oh man it is so good. Did I mention it only has 100 calories. (ha, found the chocolate)

Well I am off to do my Bible study and get a good nights sleep. Praising God for a wonderful day, great family and friends.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

2009-10-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

Today, I am still remembering Johanna, her parents and extended family. Her birth and passing to be with our Lord and Savior has put my mind in a stir. I do not question why God only gave her to her family for a short 63 minutes, for I know that God has a purpose for everything.

Johanna has made such an impact during her short visit on earth. I am overwhelmed with the lives that she has touched. Her family has great faith and that too has touched me so. I rejoice that she is with her Creator and is no longer sick and will have joy everyday.

So what is my mind stirring about? I wonder about my personal walk with God, my faith, my lack of Bible study, my understanding of God. I need to step it up. Where to start?? I have decided to read a book, which I have had for quite some time, "Knowing the Bible in 30 days." Now I personally know there is no way to know everything about the Bible in 30 days, but feel that this book will refresh me and prepare me for more in depth Bible study. I have also ran across some blogs to read - I need to read about other peoples walk with God. I need to know that they are feeling some of the same things that I do.

I am ready to step it up. Pray for me! and please continue to pray for Johanna's family.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Bittersweet

2009-10-23T18:20:00.000-07:00

Today I had the pleasure to met Johanna Raye. She is beautiful, as I knew she would be. She was born at 809 am today, but went to be with her Creator at 912 am. Johanna weighted 3 lbs, 13 ozs, 16 inches long and perfect on the outside, but did have some internal problems.

You will never know what a blessing this child has been to so many people, especially me. God chose very special parents for Johanna. They have known from the beginning that she had Trisomy 18. Their prayer was that Gods will be done with Johanna's life. They never once considered terminating the pregnancy, but chose to have this child, which was a very special gift from God. I believe we all have grown closer with the Lord through Johanna.

Nikki and Chad did get to spend time with their daughter and was with her as she left to be with God. I am thankful for their time with her. God did answer many prayers.

Although my heart is heavy and sure I am sad and have cried my share of tears today, but I also rejoice over the birth of this very precious little girl who has changed so many lives. God is good!

I pray God will give this family and all who loves Johanna so much comfort, peace and healing. It's been a bittersweet day.

Tomorrow, I get to keep Clayton, Johanna's brother, most of the day while his parents are at the hospital. I am so excited. We are going to have a wonderful day - playing, laughing and doing whatever.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

An exciting week ahead

2009-10-20T16:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at work was crazy. I met some really high maintenance people. Today I dug my way through tons of paperwork. But the best is yet to come.

Friday is the big day - My dear friend will get to met her precious daughter via c-section. Her name is Johanna. We all are so excited about this sweet blessing from God. You see Johanna has Trisomy 18. She will be a full term baby, which is amazing within its self. Although Johanna is not expected to live very long, I pray that God will allow her to stay for a little while so that her family has the opportunity to cuddle and love on her. And if I am lucky, perhaps I can have a peek at her. Along with her mother, I am hoping she will have beautiful red hair like her brother. God has already used Johanna in so many ways - the faith of her parents is incredible. The sharing of her story by her parents is a true witness for God. Johanna is indeed a very special gift from God.

And then..........on Saturday I get to keep Johanna's big brother - Clayton. I am so excited. He is adorable and so much fun. We are going to have a big day and I am going to spoil that child as much as I can. I hope that it will be pretty outside so we can go out and play. Maybe over to McDonald's for lunch. Who knows what all we can get into.

As you can tell, it's a big and busy week. Please keep Johanna and her family in your prayers.

Live, Love, Laugh
Donna

Frecky!

2009-10-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday the hubby and I went to Hickory (his idea). So we shopped a little for him because he really needs some new shirts, which we did find at Kohls on sale (YAY!). Little note: we used the credit card (important info for later in the post). Afterwards we headed to Ruby Tuesdays - they have the best salad bar and white bean chicken soup, YUMMY!

Then over to Sam's to pick stuff for us and for the church. As we are checking out with our huge amount of supplies, the hubby decides to pay with the credit card, because he did not have enough cash. Swipe the card........DECLINE! Impossible hubby says, please try again. Swipe - DECLINE again! Impossible he says we just used it at Kohl's. The cashier kindly says "perhaps you are over your limit." There is no way the hubby remarks, please enter the numbers yourself instead of me swiping the card. Cashier says I can't do that, it's not allowed. Hmmmm......well somethings wrong because I KNOW this card is good. Cashier says I will call the manager. Again Swipe - DECLINE! Oh the hubby is not happy. So needless to say we have to put some things back and then pay with what cash hubby does have.

On the way home, hubby is calling GMAC.....automated machine, awful holding music, no real person, holding................................................................for 30 minutes, getting no where. Home by now - still holding, another 30 minutes. Finally he gives up, but let me tell you he is not a happy person and that is putting it mildly.

This morning, hubby calls GMAC again. I am constantly reminding him that whom ever answers the phone is not responsible for whatever has happen, please don't take it out on them. Anyway, it seems that MasterCard had a down time last night between 7 and 8:30 pm. No one could use their MasterCard during that time. WOW! Should of had a VISA. hehehe

Better

2009-10-13T10:26:00.001-07:00

Today is a much better day. I think that I am finally getting over the "crud". Not much of an appetite, but that's ok (I could always stand to lose a few pounds). The sun is out today and it is so nice outside. I would love to go out and just lay in the sun - it would be great.

Well back to work (yay I can work today).

And it goes on....

2009-10-12T15:54:00.000-07:00

I am still sick and still sick of being sick. Must this go on much longer?? NO, I so want to be better. Tomorrow is a new day and I better be feeling better. I have had enough of this nasty virus.

I'm Sick............

2009-10-10T15:32:00.000-07:00

......of being sick. Ugh!! Vomiting, diarrhea, headache, stomach ache, no energy, etc..... I am zapped. I guess it is my turn since everyone else in the family has had it. This is only my second day and I fear that it wont go away in three. It certainly didn't for my guys.

Oh well that's it.............back to the bed :(

Blah - I just want to go home!

2009-10-08T13:11:00.000-07:00

Yea right! I'm not going home anytime soon. Work until 5 pm and then the hubby and I have to attend a "Customer Appreciation Dinner" tonight. Yes, I must go because my sweet little son's employer is hosting the dinner. Oh well, free drinks, free food - the bright side - I don't have to cook, YAY!

I will go and enjoy myself if it kills me. I shouldn't complain, they have one every year and I always do have a good time. It's just - I want to go to bed and read, maybe sleep. I am so dragging today.

Another thought: (i know that's scary) Do you suppose I am dragging because of the way that I eat?? Hmmm, I am starting to think so. Of course no exercise contributes to dragging. Seriously, I need to change my diet, my routine, my life.

Why is it that bad habits are so hard to break and good habits are so hard to maintain?

Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Church Lady

2009-10-07T14:09:00.001-07:00

There is a lady at my church, who sits behind my family and myself every Sunday during worship (well every Sunday that she attends). I must tell you that she is a school teacher (this is vital information). Years ago she told my oldest son that he should not chew gum in church. He politely told her she was not his mother (hehehe).

Anyway, she did the children's time during worship a few Sunday's ago and GASP, guess what? She was chewing gum and I don't mean slowly and I mean she was chomping down on the gum. The oldest son smiles and well you must know what he was thinking!!!!

She also talks during worship to whom ever will talk with her. She does not whisper, she talks in a normal tone. It it so annoying. I found it hard to concentrate on the sermon. Her cell phone rings about once a month during service - one word- VIBRATE!! She then apologizes out loud - WHY??? we all know who's phone it is.

Every time church lady talks we all want to turn around and go sshhhhhhhh!!!!! But nobody ever does. We all hope one day she will learn to whisper. Probably not, but we can hope.

Last Sunday our friends came to church and they have 3 children. The oldest one is 6 and sat beside of me. He was coloring and being a good quite little boy. I was so proud, even if he is not my son.

So church lady starts talking and it is getting really annoying. The little 6 year old turns around and gives her the "look" and stares at her, like why are you talking while the preacher is speaking? You know that look, it's the one you give your kids when they talk during church.

Needless to say, I believe he got his point across because she was quite after that. That little boy did something that we all have wanted to do for so long. It was quit amusing, at least to me it was. Honestly, I enjoyed every minute of it.

Next Sunday, I am going to invite him to sit with me again :)

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Saturday.......

2009-10-03T13:36:00.000-07:00

Well, the day started out cool, but has turned into a beautiful day. A great day to spend at the Biltmore House, but noooooo - the hubby is sick. Yes he finally has caught the stomach virus going around. So needless to say I have been out and about trying to stay away from him, which cost me in the long run. Why you ask? Wal-Mart - I can never go in that store and just spend a little amount of money. $109.00 later (ouch!), I went to Sally's and $42.00 (ouch again) later, I decided I better go home and take my chances.

Upon arrival home, I fixed the hubs some soup, which did go over well. So gave him more drugs and sent him back to bed. Please pray for me, I mean him (hahaha).

Now I am desperate - I am watching MTV Cribs. It is amazing at how much money these rich people will spend on a house. Can you imagine having a house that is 40,000 square feet w/ 9 bedrooms and an elevator? And the master bedroom and bath cost $ 3 million. That's ridiculous!! The entire house cost over $ 40 million. They even have a pool with a waterfall and Jacuzzi tub, and water slide. It makes me mad and not because I am jealous. I am just thinking of the ways they could be spending that money to help better this world. Like, shelter for the homeless, feed the hungry, health insurance for a family, and the list goes on and on. Oh well, I wont hold my breathe on that one.

Ok, I am turning the channel.

Hope you have an awesome weekend.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Sharing !

2009-10-01T17:32:00.000-07:00

I have to share some "I did not do that" with you guys. I think I have seriously lost my mind today. It has been a long day, a funny day, and just a weird day.

I so did not have a lazy day at work and feel that I did not earn my wages. (however, there were others that fell in this category) hahaha
I so did not eat 1/2 bag of candy corn today.
I so did not spend 1 1/2 hours at the salon just to get my hair conditioned.
I so did not go buy groceries and then go get take out for dinner.
I so did not want to trip a 5 yr girl that was constantly running in front of me and stepping my toes while I was waiting for my take out.
I so did not want to smack that girls mother for not making her behave.
I so did not go over to my sons girlfriends and watch Grey's Anatomy, even though I much wanted to sleep. (how to you say no when the son ask you to?)
I so did not have to text my son and let him know that I made it home alright.

Oh what a day! In all, it was a good day.

"Chirp"

2009-10-01T12:04:00.000-07:00

Oh my dear friend Nikki, have I ever told you how much I appreciate your sense of humor? Better yet, I have ever told you how much I appreciate you handling the Schwan's man? And....by the way, I don't think crickets chirp, hehehehhehe!!!!

Journal

2009-10-01T10:02:00.000-07:00

Do you keep a personal journal?? A while back when I was going through a "rough patch" in life, I couldn't sleep. A friend of mine talked with me about using a journal and even gave me a nice book to journal in. I had also found a neat journal book that ask questions and then gave you space to journal other thoughts. I have along the way keep a journal but not daily as I should. I think it really helps to get your thoughts on paper before going to sleep. That way your mind is clear and believe it or not - you do sleep better. I wanted to share with you the questions in my journal. See if you like these:

The weather today is______________________.
In the news today:________________________.
News & Events with my family & friends:_______________.
I am excited about:___________________.
I am concerned about: ____________.
Physically & mentally I feel__________________.
What I learned today: ___________________.
People / things that brightened my day:_____________________.
What I did to brighten someone else's day: _________________.
Goals / ideas for a better tomorrow:____________________.
Notes: ______________________.

I enjoying using these questions as a guide in my journal. I hope you will too.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

People, people, people -

2009-09-29T10:33:00.001-07:00

- if you want to ask me a question, please don't send a message to my inbox on facebook and ask me to call you the next day when I get to work. Just call me yourself the next morning. That would seem to make sense to me. What if I didn't check my facebook inbox for 2 wks or what if I forget to call you because I am busy - somehow this is going to be my fault if I don't call you back. Ugh!

- if you are going to share a story with me about someones tattoo, please don't talk so loud and for goodness sake make sure they are not sitting 3 tables away. YIKES! LOL

- as you are driving down the road, I know you must use your cell phone, because you have an important call or perhaps an important text; or you are lost and need to use your GPS; oh my that hair of yours - gees get it combed before another driver sees it; change the channel on your radio quickly - that song sucks; BUT MUST YOU USE YOUR COMPUTER TO WEB SEARCH???????

Seriously I did indeed witness this first hand. A guy was driving a nice sporty car, going slow in the right lane on interstate, speeds up, slow downs, speeds up, slows down - you get the point. As I past him, I look over and GASP he has a laptop in the passenger seat and is using it.

-please do the job you get paid to do. PLEASE! I so don't want to be like you, sorry but you abuse the system. And stop playing dumb - what? oh you're not. Oops! my bad.

OK, enough whining.........until next time!

My Sunday so far.........

2009-09-27T15:02:00.001-07:00

Up this morning and off to church without the hubby. He had to stay home and work in the chick houses because they are leaving us in the wee morning hours on Monday. It was weird going without him, but there are times when the chicks can't be left alone.

If you read my post yesterday, I was determined to have a crisis free weekend.............ha! listen to this. We had a birthday lunch for my MIL at my SIL / BIL's house. Everything was going great and then.............two of the SIL's were having a squabble, nothing dramatic but you knew something was up. So SIL "W" comes in the her daughter's room, where we are playing with the genia pig and wanted to talk to her daughter. It seems that SIL "L" 's son is complaining that "W "'s daughter was picking on him during sunday school. These two kids are the same age (only 5 weeks apart in age) which is 11. So they talked about the situation in front of me, which was fine until SIL "W" looks at me and says, "I am going to get "L" and I want us to clear the air, will you (meaning ME) stay in here while we talk?" GASP!! (Remember I am trying to have a crisis free weekend) GASP! again. I'm thinking what does this have to do with me? Duh, nothing! So I say "NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT." I must say "W" was shocked that I said no. I am thinking its time for us to go. I texted my 2 sons and said "time to leave, things are going to get bad." I go to the hubby and told him that I was ready to go, NOW! He knew something was up by my tone. So, no questions ask, we left.

When leaving I told hubby what was going on and I told him what I said. YAY! he says, I am proud of you for saying no (you see I'm a fixer, but not this time). Good that we are leaving before the battle began.

Another bullet dodged! So it has been a crisis free weekend. I am so happy about that.

Donna

Saturday

2009-09-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

It is raining again, which is fine. I love the rain, but of course do not want flooding. The rain makes me so lazy and I can't be lazy today - way too much to do. T's girlfriend is moving today and the rain is making it a little difficult. I don't want to complain about the rain because I fear not having any, which is not fun if you have ever been there.

Yesterday at work was crazy. Lots of people with real problems and some with not so real problems but loved to whine about it. We were so far behind and that really gets to me - I hate being behind. Of course, being over booked doesn't help that situation. People were hurting, complaining of the wait, yada yada yada. Finally by 6 pm it was over. Thank goodness.

I am hoping for a wonderful weekend without crisis (hint hint). So far so good.

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Happy Birthday!

2009-09-24T09:54:00.000-07:00

Today is my son J's birthday. He is 28 - Wow, where has the time gone? It certainly has moved fast. I remember my mother saying "the older you get the faster time goes." Of course I was alot younger then and thought she was crazy. However, I now know that my mother is a pretty smart cookie.

So where is J in his life right night? He moved out of our house in July into an apartment. (not tearing up) Also, in July he became engaged. He is now starting the process of building a house. He has become a wonderful young man. I am so very proud of him (ok maybe a little tearing). I love this child with all of my heart and love watching him moving on in his life as an adult.

Off to another subject - I am wondering if any of you blogger buddies have heard or participated in an online bible study course called: Lords' Table. It is a "60-Day interactive course that will teach you to enjoy a newfound relationship with the Lord and how to find freedom from bad eating habits." I am seriously thinking of participating in this bible study. If you know anything about this study please give me some feedback.

Wait there is more.... I found this quote online last night from Erma Bombeck and wanted to share with you.............

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”

Praise God!
Donna

What the cupcake??

2009-09-23T10:24:00.000-07:00

So lets see - you spend your morning talking, not doing productive work and get paid really good for that. Then as the morning becomes afternoon and we are almost finished, you politely send the rest of the staff home - WHAT? I still have a lot of crap going on and have to clean up and we know that you are not going to help me. So where does that leave me?? Oh, I know - its just Donna, she doesn't have anything else to do on her afternoon off. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Yeah I am upset!!!!!! SCREAM, SHOUT, YELL !!!

I did it again..............

2009-09-22T12:49:00.000-07:00

I let my guard down and WHAM!!!!!

it got me again.

The monkey never learns!

"Those who gossip to you will gossip of you"

Lazy Me

2009-09-20T17:40:00.000-07:00

This has got to be the laziest weekend I have had in forever................and it was great! We did nothing but hang out at home until today, which of course we went to church. It was a great day in the Lords' house. This evening after church conference meeting it was back home to be lazy again. And shortly after this post, I am going to put the PJ's on, read my book and hopefully get a really good nights sleep. I have been totally useless this weekend....something that was long over due.

Night all!
Donna

Football!

2009-09-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

Let it be known that I am not a football van. I just don't get the game, even when my kids played. I was always confused about the plays. But today, the Gators play the Vols. My kids and most of my family are huge VOLS fans. However my boss is a Gator fan. The boss is at the game putting highlights on facebook. T is at a friends house in Raleigh watching the game and the friend is a gator fan :( J is at home watching. So I am going to watch the game and pretend that I understand it (hehehe). I will be texting the boss and hopefully rubbing in the score and checking out his facebook updates.

So lets get started. GO VOLS!!!!!!!

Rainy day

2009-09-18T07:09:00.000-07:00

I love rainy days!! and today it is raining. I love to lay in the bed with the window up and listen to the rain. It is so relaxing. I am off from work today and this morning (and last night when I wasn't sleeping, again) I layed still in my bed and listened to the rain............ahhhhhh.

So what is this day going to be? A very lazy day - catching up on reading, maybe a little laundry, and hopefully some time with the hubby. Otherwise, nothing but relaxing and enjoying the day with no schedule. Now that is a great day!!

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna

Closure

2009-09-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a long post, so if you don't read it that's ok. It is mostly for me to get everything out and have closure.

Several years back, my best friend of many years embezzled money from our church and quite a large sum of money. She was the treasurer and I was the financial secretary. My position was to keep track of the tithing and sign checks only if necessary. She being the treasurer had complete control of the money. She did indeed supply reports to the Finance Committee and to the Admin Council, however NO ONE ever looked over her back and always accepted the reports she gave. Basically we trusted her and why should we not, she was the branch manager of a bank. GASP! Supposedly there were audits being done, but by someone she worked we at the bank - that was so not true. She used her bank position to move money from one church account to another and cash checks. yada, yada, yada and the story goes on and on and on.

The calls start coming in to the church about bills not being paid. Church people were complaining about not being able to cash reimbursement checks. This went on for several months. Obviously something is wrong, right? I discussed my concerns with our pastor many times, in which sometimes he ask her and sometimes he made up excuses, as did she. She was very smart at what she was doing and always and I do mean always had a great excuse for what ever question was presented to her.

Finally, after seeing that I am getting no where with answers that I needed. I decided to go to the bank and see for myself. I will never forget the day I did that, my husband said to me "do you really want to do this? what if you don't like what you find out?" I will never forget those questions. I really did not expect to find anything bad because she was going thru a really bad time and I thought she just was not making the deposits in a timely manner.

Man was I in for a HUGE shock! The church had a general account and several other "special fund" accounts. The general account was in the negative!! One special account had been closed and 2 other "special fund" accounts, which should of had large sums of money in them was empty. Something is not right, where has she put the money?

Moving on, basically she took the money, paid herself a salary monthly for a volunteer position(signing my name to the checks), wrote checks to her family members (again signing my name to the checks), sent her kids to college (again signing my name to the checks) and I have no idea what she did with the rest.

After many many months of putting the pieces together, bank visits, DA visits, lawyer visits, I just totally fell apart. I would go days without sleep, yes really daysssss with no sleep. Then came the headaches -really bad headaches and of course depression and anxiety. I no longer had the desire to exercise, thus comes the weight gain. I HAVE never been like this - I am always a strong person and a fixer. I was so tired of fighting the battle. It was all that I could do to get through work and life each day. The headaches got so bad that I had to go to a neurologist, CTs (in case I had a brain tumor). Finally on to the Psychiatrist. Between the two of them we finally found the right mix of meds to aid with the headaches. The headaches are better, but I still continue to see the psychiatrist.

I placed a lot of the blame on myself - why did I not see this before?? Now of course I can look back and see some signs that I totally missed.

For several years it was days of calls and meetings with the bank, lawyers, DA, pastor - over and over and over. Through all of this time I never saw her except the day we met at the lawyer's office and only at a distance. It upset me so bad to see her that I had to be put in another room while part of the mediation was going on.

Finally things were settled without having to go to court. Since that day I have not seen her, which is great because I had so much hatred, dislike, and questions for her. Yes, I prayed lots. God and I had many conversations over the years, but I could not get the closure I needed. I also thought that as a church we should have ministered to her and her family, but we didn't. What kind of people are we if we don't reach out to her? Yet I could not do it myself. I expressed the concern to many people, but no one wanted to go there. Why??? aren't we as Christians suppose to forgive, reach out to the lost sheep? So many mixed emotions.

I did have a great support system with my family - who was there for me every step along the way, but couldn't not always answer my questions, but gave me love. I also confided to my new BFF. She has been so helpful, considerate and a great listener. She was the outsider of the situation that I needed.

Finally I have felt in the last month that I am actually starting to make progress in letting go. I am actually feeling better - not at the TOP yet, but getting up and moving, smiling, laughing, enjoying life.

And then............last week I saw her - face to face we ran into each other at a pharmacy. She looked like she had seen a ghost and I was startled. She said hello in a low voice and I said Hi and went on my way. As I get into my car, suddenly it hits me - I had no bad thoughts toward her, this was not as bad as I thought it would be. I said nothing ugly, I did not have the urge to punch her out, trip her, or smack her. The only thing I felt was sorrow for her. WOW, I admit I was surprise with myself.

But then it happen, I finally have CLOSURE!

Praise God for always being there for me, for answering prayers in his time and not mine. For loving me no matter what, forgiving me of my sins, for his love for everyone, no matter who they are or what they have done in their lives. I pray that "she" has reached out to God for this guidance and forgiveness, and that she can pick up the pieces, move on and have closure.

Thank you my loving family and friends who have been there for me. May God bless you!

AAHHHHH! Life is good!

9/11

2009-09-11T07:09:00.000-07:00

Where were you on that September day? I remember exactly where I was and how I felt.

My prayers are with the families and friends of all the people that passed and survived that September day!

I am thankful and praise all who were involved in the rescues. I am also thankful to ALL our armed forces who put their lives on the line for our nation.

I am proud to be an American. God Bless the USA!

Boys will be boys

2009-09-09T14:41:00.000-07:00

My two boys went on a baseball trip. They left last Thursday, drove to Baltimore - saw a game on Saturday. Then on to New York - Sunday the Mets game, Monday the Yankees game. Then Tuesday on to Boston for the game.

Last night around 10 pm I get a text picture from J - it shows a police officer putting handcuffs on T and the text read "need money to get T out of jail." So I am pondering calmly for a moment and finally decided this must be a joke because I don't see T taking this so lightly (he is very high strung) As the texting goes along I do learn that a very nice police officer helped them play a joke on their parents. Oh yeah - HA HA HA!

Today, the boys are flying home from Boston. I am sent a text around 3:30 pm from T - "just got to the airport and heard that a plane was hijacked." Well during the time he texted this to me I was getting a massage and a facial (much needed), so I don't get the text until 4:30 pm. Hummmmm, do I fall for this or not? So I text back telling him to not be so mean to his mother. Reply from T - I am serious a plane was hijacked and one has crashed in Arizona. Hummm, is this for real?? At this point I don't know whether to believe him or not. He is just joking again?

When I get home I look on the trusty Internet and...................YES a plane was hijacked in Mexico. No worry they are no where around Mexico. and YES a small plane did crash in Arizona. Again no worry.

Boys! They so love to harass their mother, especially when it comes to planes, because I don't like to fly.

UGH!!!!

Surprise!!

2009-09-03T19:52:00.000-07:00

Well much to my surprise, we had a finance meeting at church and all went well. People finally listened and get it, which is - can't spend it if you don't have it. This was probably the best meeting we have had in a long time. Everyone seemed to be on the same page for once.

It is so nice to know that no matter what we face in this world, God is in control. I am so thankful for his many blessings and unconditional love. Praise God!

Is it really....

2009-08-28T07:19:00.000-07:00

.....Friday already?? This week has been like a breeze blowing by, fast! Today I leave to go to the beach with part of my family and extended family. Yes, I know there is a tropical storm at the coast, but hey this family is always ready for some excitement. I really should be excited, but honestly I don't want to go. I feel so blah today and not in the mood to drive for 5 hours to enjoy the rain.

My Mom is going with us and although I really want her to go, I am concerned about how well she is going to do. Her sister died this week and mom is having a hard time. Lots of crying, lots of anger, lots of mood swings and as we all know sometimes we channel that anger toward the ones we love. I will be the receiver of these mood swings and I am not sure I can handle that this weekend. But I will do what I have to do.

AAAGGHHH! Life is so hard sometimes. Is there ever a day where there is no drama? I can't seem to find one lately.

Perhaps this will be a great fun filled weekend. Usually the things you dread the most, often turn off to be ok. (I'm hoping)

A little sad today :(

2009-08-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

Today, my aunt (my Mom's sister) who has been suffering from leukemia, went home to be with the Lord. Although it's hard to let go, I know that she is in good hands. She has been in the hospital since last Tuesday. It has been a long tiring sad week for the family. As I visited with her on Saturday and watched her struggle to breathe, I prayed that God would take her and that she would no longer suffer. I hope you don't think that this wrong, but I know that God has a better home for her without suffering and being sick.

Last night my Mom and I visited with my aunt for many hours and she was much worse. My heart just broke. Once again I prayed that God would no longer let her suffer, but take her to be in his loving care. I also prayed that God would give the family peace and understanding through this difficult time.

This morning God did take my aunt, although I am sad, I rejoice in knowing that she is with our loving God. I rejoice that she will no longer suffer.

Thank you God for always being there!

Donna

I've been bad

2009-08-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

I had lab work drawn the other week when I went for my physical at the GYN's. Cholesterol is up, Blood sugar is up, weight is up (no shocker there). Anyway off to the my PCP - hmmm, he says you have gained some weight. Ah, yes I have. Your cholesterol is up. Ah, yes I know. Just give me the "talk" and prescriptions and let me out of here. I have already beat my own self up about this.

You need to go on a diet and exercise everyday. Cut down on calories and carbs. Yes sir, I know and I will. I am going to give you Lipitor for your cholesterol and increase your Synthroid meds. I want to see you back in one month.

Needless to say, I have a lot to do in one month. I've been so bad and have allowed stress to run by life. So I am stepping up and getting with it. Pushing myself to exercise more and eat less. Sounds so easy, but as most of us know, it's difficult.

Here's to better health!
Donna

Yay it's Wednesday

2009-08-19T05:52:00.001-07:00

It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining, not too hot. I am going to have a good day today and I mean it. No drama today, you can bring it on, but I am looking over you. Life is way too short to be having bad days.

Happy Wednesday!!

Full Day

2009-08-17T19:26:00.000-07:00

This day has been so FULL. Work was busy, busy, busy. Another 7 pm night :( Church drama - shocker! Calls, Calls, Calls - please stop calling me! My aunt is sick and is in ICU - things are not going well, please keep her in your prayers.

Tonight I sit here and go over the day in my mind. There are some things I just have to laugh about because I certainly can't change it. Obviously there are things I need to pray about.

I am so tired...............please Lord make my mind rest!

OMG

2009-08-17T15:18:00.000-07:00

OM gosh - my pastor and a fellow church goer are making sneaky remarks on facebook. It pertains to a meeting we had yesterday, unless you were at the meeting you wouldn't know what they were talking about. But for those of us who were there, it's a stab.

I can't believe it!!

Blah!

2009-08-17T06:29:00.000-07:00

I am feeling a little blah today. Why you ask? Yesterday at church the finance committee had to announce one of the cut backs we have made in the budget. Which was that of the secretary's position - she works 20 hrs per week and her hours were cut to 10 hrs per week. This is only one of many cuts we have made. Anyway, it is not a good feeling to have to do this because you know this will effect her and her family. It was not personal, it was business.

The amazing part is how much blame has been placed on the Finance Committee because of this. Hello - you, the church elected the Finance Committee and unfortunately this is our job. To oversee the budget and make changes that are best for the financial outcome of the church. I am truly hurt at some the comments that were made. Even my pastor put a comment on Facebook yesterday that makes me wonder if he was talking to the finance committee. He said "I know that God is in control even if evil seems to be winning." He was not for this particular change.

Church drama - I am sick and tired of it. Should it really be this way at church???

Wedding Crap

2009-08-15T08:42:00.001-07:00

As you my know, my oldest son J is engaged. It is 27 (soon to be 28). He recently moved out our house into an apartment. Anyway, back to the wedding crap. He and G/F decided to get married at the beach in September 2010. Sounds great.....so far. My other son, T, is the best man and G/F's brother is the only groomsmen. A small wedding, which is what they wanted and is great. They have been engaged for about 5 or 6 wks. Ever notice how people turn into PIA's about weddings.

So here goes the story thus far: Wedding at the Beach - hubby and I have a farm and can not always go as we would like. There is no way to know at this time if we will even be able to go to the wedding, which really sucks. We have a poultry farm and when the chicks are at a certain age it requires us to stay close to home. The wedding will take place 5 hours aways from us.
The hubby said we will work it out. I know that there's a 50/50 chance it want. Not great odds.

Best Man - I am totally disappointed that hubby was not ask to be the best man. This man has worked 2 jobs all of our married life to make sure everyone in the family is provided for. J played ball, which is an expensive sport. J went on to play ball in college (a private college). Even though he did get scholarships, we paid the rest so he would have no debt when he got out of school. We worked hard (mostly the hubby with 2 jobs) to make this happen. And yes we did without some things so this could happen. Now don't you think hubby deserves to be the best man?

Best Man Part 2 - T (other son) was ask to be the best man, which is great. If they don't want hubby to do it and I am pleased that T was ask. All through my grumbling about it being at the beach and the possibly that we want be able to go, T has reminded me that it's their wedding and they should do what they want. (Slap me on the wrist, put me in my place, OUCH!)

Small wedding - getting bigger and more complicated. Thus starts coming the problems.

Wedding dress - G/F and her mom having been looking for a wedding dress. And no I was not invited to participate in this adventure :) I was sure I would be because I thought G/F and I were pretty close. Ah, maybe not. G/F texts me and lets me know that she found a dress and she loves it. So when I see her in person, I said tell me about the dress and when do I get to see it. Surprise.....she is not telling me about the dress, nor can I see it. I will have to wait until wedding day. WHAT??? are you kidding me? OMG it's a dress and she is not the Queen. (Sorry, a little forestation there.) Whatever!

Back to T, the best man - Ha he was told last night how the wedding party will be standing.
It will be J-the groom, BIL - brother of the bride and then T - brother of the groom. Needless to say this did not go over well with T. He told them that J was his brother, he was the best man and he would be standing beside his brother. The response is: well you will have to talk to the wedding director. HA HA HA! T says I don't need to talk to anyone. That's my brother and I am standing beside him. Now, remember T is the one who told me "it's their wedding they should be able to do what they want."

Wedding place - at the end of the month we are suppose to go to the beach and see the wedding place and what they have to offer. I was invited. Not sure why because I certainly have not been included in anything else. I get my information from T.

At this point, I don't believe I am going. What's the point?? It's their wedding they can do whatever they want. And perhaps I will be able to go the the wedding and see it all myself. Not sure how I have become the outsider suddenly, the G/F has nearly lived at out house for the last 3 yrs. I honestly have not be in their business, their adults and can make their own decisions. I have a difficult MIL and have been determined to not be that person. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Donna

2009-08-15T05:58:00.001-07:00

Yesterday the doc was late and the work day finally ended for me at 7 pm, OUCH!! It was a busy, crazy and high maintenance afternoon / evening at the office. Finally its Saturday and I so look forward to the weekend. A little cleaning this am, haircut and then who knows. Hopefully a low key evening. It looks like its gonna be a beautiful day and I plan to take advantage of it.

Hope everyone has an awesome weekend!

Donna

UGH!!!! UGH!!!

2009-08-14T11:23:00.000-07:00

Yay, it's Friday - Woot!! So why the ugh??? The doc's late (surprise) and we want get started until 3 pm (if we are lucky), which puts me at home around 6ish pm............ON A FRIDAY!!!!!!!! On the flip side............. I do have a job and a very good job, great boss, great pay, great benefits. So whats the whining all about? I guess I am just being selfish today.

Don't even try to make me feel bad, I already did it to myself.

Donna

Thursday

2009-08-13T05:21:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's Thursday already. Where has the week gone? I remember when I was little my mom use to tell me that as you get older time goes faster. I always thought that was so silly. But, I am learning that it is so true. Of course, I also thought when my mom turned 30 that she was old. Ha! so not true - you are really just starting to live.

I am looking forward to a great day. We must make the best out of every opportunity we have, even if things don't always go our way. Right??

Hope you have a blessed day!

Live, Laugh, Love
Donna